Dear God,
How are you? I am fine. This is 2019, I am still here. I am still working in PT. SFF as full-time employee. I am thanks for this, Alhamdulillah. God, on Sept 2019, I have a plan to quit from this current job on Dec 2018. I was really serious, I knew. But, I am not really realistic, anyone knew. Today, I will not try to give direction of this such condition vice versa I will follow your direction, be calm and patient while I am preparing for the best. Currently, I do understand Kelas Entrepreneur is still not give me any lunch yet. So, the power of patient must take control. I will keep working till You give me the signal to quit. Whereas, it quite difficult to tell with team about this matter. I do really understand that they need my full time, but by now, I still can handle this by working at evening and using my spare time while I am working from 8 to 5 as other people employee. The question is, how could I manage this situation? To let the team work by their best way and I am doing mine. Oh God, I think I will show them about the recap of happy time (daily working hours) that show even I am still working as employee in other company but I have the highest amount of working hour for Kelas Entrepreneur. I will ask them also. First, I will thinking first what is their deadline, how was their performance, and collecting our tasks then asking them about their plan to finish their tasks while I will finish mine. I will do it this evening when I have meeting with all team member minus Dina. God, Thank you for this idea. God, Henceforth I can see my mom physically. That’s fine. But, please lead me to your way, to learn more Islam, closer to recognize your tenet . One more wish, please help to know Muhammad, our prophet, as complete as I should. I find that I am falling in love with concept of learning now. I have just read Book titled “Surah Nabawiyah” and felling so blue when I read words by words when this book described how Muhammad and His Beloved Friend try to show the greatest of Islam way. For me, there is no matter about Islam as Religion, it is do really matter when I know Islam and thousands its rules exist just to let human being be the kindest and the greatest to others. I Love how Islam teach to be peaceful person, how Islam give the very huge portion to be honored in this cruel and temporary world. I promise myself to learn more, to apply more, to give more, but please show me the way learn in the right way. I do really worry because many sides that would like to make this Islam Harmony be blur, don’t let sort of this people close to me. Amin, God Please Help to know You and our Prophet better. I put my 100 per cent trust on You. Bismillah. I know I couldn’t predict how future looks likes. I just able to prepare the future, as cool as I can. So here I am now. I am working as full-time employee in PT. SSF from 8 to 5.30 PM , 6 days a week (Special for Saturday, we will have half day working hours, 12.00 AM ). I will work for Kelas Entrepreneur from 07.00 – 11.00 PM to balance it. In fact, I could spend about 5-6 hours to do Kelas Entrepreneur task when I am working as full time employee. So, Alhamdulillah, I give my gratitude for this, tons of thanks Allah. This is what I am waiting for, now we will focus on how to upgrade KaSha team to have great standard, we will be busy to prepare our Kelas Entrepreneur School and Consultant. So, I will focus on this, as CEO I learn a lot of being learner who will lead this serious project. I have to learn not only about strategical concept to make KE mission come true but also learning hard to have sincere relationship with other human being. God, thank you for putting me in this situation, as our conversation with Dina, Nova, Hady and Cer in previous meeting, I have just realized that there is a part of me that really cruel, the dark side. I am focus on helping people to find their potential in Kelas Entrepreneur but at the same time I do really not care with my surround. There is another side of me who will bothered by human being stuff like care with member of family, care with team, care with close friend, colleague and other people sincerely. I am kind of super polite person and able to fun with anyone but the deep inside of mine I said they all is not important for me, once I know about this dark side, I was so upset. Need really huge brave to admit this. But, here I am. After I have hurt several close friends and relatives and I also had hurt a girl who do really love me in 2015. God, I am sorry for this. I do really for this. Frankly, I am quite scary with this kind of careless , but I hope you help to fix it smoothly. I am ready for this healing process, I am ready. Finally, I would able to start this 2019 excitedly. Mom and my family will be my main engine to improve my quality based on god vision. Kelas Entrepreneur will be my boat to be the best version of sincere friend who will change the world better, and Islam will be my main motivation as human being to live this stop-over world. I have to finish this article, many tasks waiting. God, Thank You. I am much okay now. Marketing Office, SSF. Bengkulu.
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After surviving about 4 months in Jakarta to against her cancer, my mother passed away. This is the final battle in our 2018 . I thought I could stand wisely once it happened, but I am not that strong. I was crying, the tears were really uncontrollable.
It was on 28 Dec 2018 at 17.15 PM, about two weeks when my mother gone after i came back to Bengkulu to continue my working as full time employee. If I am not mistaken, on 18 Dec 2019, my father called me and told that my mom cancer could be recovers by medical treatment anymore. I was broke, the damage was really serious. I am not crying but the tears always come whole day long. This info was only me and my family who knew, the whole entire family was lost. The doctor in cancer centre hospital “Dharmais” revealed that they prefer to suggest my mom to go back to Bengkulu due to there will be no more days left. To be honest, I have never imagined it was happened to me, to my family. This was really looks like in a series drama, but it was real. You know, at that time, I was being Diogi who denied any bad thing. I do really optimist that mom should be treated by herbal as alternative healing concept. I bought herbal medicine for cancer treatment, discuss with my father and older brother about alternative healing concept, and doing religion praying concept treatment, I do also asked my brother in law to buy peel of mangoes. We did anything what we could do at that time. But, my mom could not consume any medicine as good as one week before she arrived in Bengkulu. I had no more idea at that time. The denial concept was so burden me. In other part of my brain I was do really accept the reality that my mom body was so fragile and weak but in the other side both brain and heart I knew my mom will get well really soon. My mom was having his general medication treatment in province public hospital at that time (after the cancer hospital in Jakarta given up to take care of my mom) while I am still working. The best part was all big family members both from my mother side and my father side supported really strong. There will be more than ten people who slept at hospital, all of my nephew and niece come to cheer my mother up. All uncles and aunts will go and back to take care of my mom. Even all friend of mine and friend of all my brother and cousin also come to see her. In this point i know that, i should know all this beloved family better. In my opinion due to this case is Indonesia needs more cancer hospital that can provide better and faster medical treatment for the one who need. My mom should be has her surgery to take out his tumor in her belly in the beginning of December. Unfortunately, the surgeon room was full of waiting list. So my mom schedule for surgery was postponed until 19 Dec 2018. I bet at that time the cancer cells was spreading out to all my mom body while the fourth chemotherapy could not apply due to surgery preparation. We as the family who accompanied her cannot see anything change within her body. Especially me, who highly optimistic after the surgery mom will be better. My mother has passed away on Friday which is based on our believe as good sign. My mother survival journey had been completed. It is all about us now, about me who will continue her journey. My responsibility as a son is to make her the proud mom in heaven. I should find the best version of me to be close and understand more about islam. It is all about me who will fight the future without mom. I am okay for now. I think I will be okay also for next. But, the vacant part of my soul where was mom existed will be always like this. I will pray and being a good man as a ticket to meet her again in heaven. Dear God, I know there will be a time for me to back to you also. Until that day come, please let me be proper enough to see her in your heaven. The journey about me to make my mom proud in Jannah is started. I will never stop to find the best version of me and the best son version for my mom. God please tell my mom, I will take care the younger and my father. I will keep this missing felling. Let’s Start the journey, Bismillah. |
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I am Indonesian. My name is Diogi. So interest with business and entrepreneurship. I am creating Social Business to find the best method to teach entrepreneurship and help people to meet their potential for facing future. Like traveling and writing. Archives
July 2021
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