Dear God,
Sorry for being arrogant. I am not as strong as I expected. I do really weak. I have nothing to hold on to. I am writing this, because I know YOU have talked to me, again this afternoon. Thank YOU for not leaving all alone. I am blessed. I Thought it was easy, but I have totally wrong. It is kind of hard work. It is not attack my body, but this situation defeated my mental. I have bearded down by the situation. As YOU know that I have decided to look after my mom to accompany her during his medical treatment process. I have though all programs that I would to implement once I arrived in Jakarta. I failed to control my emotion and I was stressed. Her condition is not as good as I though. She is often to speak randomly. Her hair fall is in everywhere. She could not take rest comfortably, many complain and more. Furthermore, her left legs are getting bigger due to chemotherapy effect, I don’t know how to explain in medical issue, but is because the blood stream is not normal anymore in her left legs. I asked the doctor about this matter but there is no specific medicines that can they give. “The chemotherapy will help”. I lost control. I cannot push my emotion to be in a normal mood. The program like morning walk, afternoon talk, sholat together and read Qur’an is not implemented. By these cases, I felt that I destroyed my own imagination. God, Sorry for being arrogant. but, it is kind of difficult stage for me. I thought to cheer up the ill men is as easy to cheer up people who would like to learn entrepreneurship. But, I am 100 per cent wrong. My trick, my plan is not working at all. I am confused really. I would to cry but I can’t. I would like to show the anger but I do know for whom it supposed to express to. Why should I feel this position? I have known as the strongest son to face this kind situation. But for me this another feeling and another problem that must be fix. It is like I know the problem but I have nothing to solve. I am zero. I don’t know how to start. God, thank YOU for making me cry a lot this evening. At least I just feel that I am being empty. The burden just came out within the tears. Suddenly, the tears giving me chance to hear YOUR voice cleared, “I am arrogant and I have to learn”. I do really amaze with my father endurance. It is more than a month she stay with my mom and able to serve the best of him for her. I know some time, he got mate with my mom when she speak meanly to my father about his unwell task. But, he never get take it serious and always sleep tightly at night while I don’t. God, I don’t like the way my mom received the service at Hospital. The nurse and doctors speak so rough to mostly the patient. I do understand that this hospital is under government control, the bureaucracy atmosphere is really tight. But, I just believe that the patient should deserve better. All of the nurse work like nothing that should they do but finish that all fast then go back home. I fell so disappointed. How could they motivated their patient if they face say “Your disease is not my business, I will not take it into account.” I know they are working, but they never show their kindness as people who live in services industry. God, if YOU can listen to my wish, I hope YOU lead me to the way where can I build and entrepreneurial hospital to motivate the patient sincerely and professionally. Or this stage is to show me to feel it first and find the reliable concept about this? I Hope so, I hope so. I miss my home already God. But, as our conversation this evening through Maghreb and Isya, I just feel that I should stay and throw the give up mental far away. I am sorry for being arrogant, too confidence making a program that I have never try before. I know I just need to adapt, I will learn the way my mom play her role in this matter than I can observe which approach that can be implemented to cheer her up and support the fire mental for her medical movement . God, thank YOU. For this romantic evening, where my mom is sleeping comfortably and my father is snoring. I plan to fight more tomorrow. Kota Bambu Selatan, 15 Oct 2018 In the city that difficult to love to, Jakarta.
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Dear God,
I have to leave Bengkulu, for about 6 weeks. Thank you for this decision. I have to concern to look after my mom. Do you remember, I asked you to not put me in this sophisticated position? Then you gave the answer with more serious diseased for my mom. My mom get cancer, she along with my father have been living in Jakarta for more than I moth to process her medical treatment process. I have to accompany them because I know both of them need support. I know nothing about healing process system. But one thing I know for sure is I can cheer them up and my existence will make the hope stronger. I wish. I am leaving. I have to move to Jakarta. It was no problem for me. But it is really complicated and emotional decision for Kelas Entrepreneur. I have never think twice for take care my mom but I have burden to leave KE for this such long time which I know now is our really golden time where the idea an opportunity come. It is coming for a time. Actually, this is a serious issue for my life. I have offered resignation letter to my office PT. SSF. I thought that I had to do that because I will take more than moth stay in Jakarta. In my logical thinking, there will be no one who let their employee to have day off more than 12 days. The company will get many disadvantages if they do so. At that time, I was thinking about living in the freedom. There will be a time where I will not thinking about other people business as employee. No more pressure to think about works that I am not really love of. Vice versa the owner named Mr. Lois rejected my resignation letter and allow me to have day off as 6 weeks to take care my mom. In this point I knew he is good one, but in another point of view I know he is trying to trap me and still working in his company. I choose to say thank you for his decision. So, God here i am now. I am typing this journal beside my mom who is taking a rest after taking his medicine and along with my father who is preparing to go to mosque for Maghreb. Just now, the team of Kelas Entrepreneur completed to run class for student as our monthly routine. I don’t know how to sat thanks and grateful. By this position, I knew that I have to improve my willing and power to do Hijrah and know your tenet deeper. Thank You. God, thank you for sending me this great person in my life, the parent, the friend and the team who support me emotionally, materially and physically.one of my priceless words that I have ever hear is come from Dina who never think twice to say yes when I leave KE because of my mom, Mbak Riri advice who let me do the same and all team Nova, Cer, and Zairi who trying hard to handle KE without me surround them. But, I will not just keeping watching the clock. I do believe my mom could recover and I have to put all attention to her while I am keeping improving myself. I will take my father too. And I will control and giving full of my awareness to KE and giving all team and KaSHa space to grow. I will still living as employee to learn more until YOU show me the perfect time quit in the most perfect reason I wish. Jakarta, 20 Oct 2018 In the rent home nearby Dharmais Hospital, Jakarta Dear God,
Thank you… You let me to dream, and then you show me the way to realize it. It teach me the way to grateful. I am blessed. Throw back to the 5 year ago, when I was falling in love with Thai Night Market. I adore night market in Thailand cause of their atmosphere and their impact that give good economic advantage for the seller which is my friend mostly a seller. When I was staying there, I and my friend was wondering if we could make a night market in our city, in Bengkulu. We could change our micro economic in the city especially for the seller side and also in our dream we should find the best location to promote the area also. It was our though. At that time, we were considering to choose our Chinese old town as the perfect location. It was in 2013, the dream was just a dream. We should complete our exchange program then went back to Indonesia in 2014. Long story to be short, we tried to make community when we was at campus to realize our dream. We appointed as community who handle 3 bazaar different year start from 2014 (December) and follow to 2 couple years next. We created a community call TOY then we success to make bazaar ( that we admit as “Night Market”). Unfortunately, we was not able to choose our favorite location. Still, the dream was just a dream at that time. GOD, I do love the way you lead me to our dream. You whispered to my ear in 2016 and advised me to established Kelas Entrepreneur in 2017. I did. You let me to meet wonderful team (process to be family) in 2018. I shared our dream. Then you invited all people who related to this dream. And without any much more explanation, you realized our dream. God, Thank you for Pasar Malam Malabero. After 4 years dreaming, we are able to achieve our dream to build a night market. This night market call Pasar Malam Malabero. Previously, we thought that this Night Market only for Student who join in this Kelas Entrepreneur, but in the process of preparation, we changed the strategy. We make this become bigger project, we invited other community such as TOY and some personal who interested to join as crew in this night market. We shared our dream through all digital poster and caption to promote this event, and somehow this is not only become an event but also changed to a movement. God, thank you for showing me this strategy. By this way, I could not doubt that collaboration is a magical concept. The Pasar Malam Malabero became a hyped, predicted more than 6,000 people came to feel the atmosphere. We campaign to re-shape the old town and build the sustain night market. We did it, 29 Sep 2018 is one our beautiful Saturday night ever. I feel so grateful, Thank You god, Thank you all Mighty. Henceforth, the perspective sustainable night market must be projected seriously. I and KE family will try hard to make it happen. Because, we know the sincere smile of sold out seller face is giving wisdom for our soul. By now, many opportunity come closer to us, the mission to teach more people about entrepreneurship will realize soon. Amin Bengkulu, Monday, Oct 8th 2018 a week after Pasar Malam Malabero successfully held. |
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I am Indonesian. My name is Diogi. So interest with business and entrepreneurship. I am creating Social Business to find the best method to teach entrepreneurship and help people to meet their potential for facing future. Like traveling and writing. Archives
July 2021
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