After surviving about 4 months in Jakarta to against her cancer, my mother passed away. This is the final battle in our 2018 . I thought I could stand wisely once it happened, but I am not that strong. I was crying, the tears were really uncontrollable.
It was on 28 Dec 2018 at 17.15 PM, about two weeks when my mother gone after i came back to Bengkulu to continue my working as full time employee. If I am not mistaken, on 18 Dec 2019, my father called me and told that my mom cancer could be recovers by medical treatment anymore. I was broke, the damage was really serious. I am not crying but the tears always come whole day long. This info was only me and my family who knew, the whole entire family was lost. The doctor in cancer centre hospital “Dharmais” revealed that they prefer to suggest my mom to go back to Bengkulu due to there will be no more days left. To be honest, I have never imagined it was happened to me, to my family. This was really looks like in a series drama, but it was real. You know, at that time, I was being Diogi who denied any bad thing. I do really optimist that mom should be treated by herbal as alternative healing concept. I bought herbal medicine for cancer treatment, discuss with my father and older brother about alternative healing concept, and doing religion praying concept treatment, I do also asked my brother in law to buy peel of mangoes. We did anything what we could do at that time. But, my mom could not consume any medicine as good as one week before she arrived in Bengkulu. I had no more idea at that time. The denial concept was so burden me. In other part of my brain I was do really accept the reality that my mom body was so fragile and weak but in the other side both brain and heart I knew my mom will get well really soon. My mom was having his general medication treatment in province public hospital at that time (after the cancer hospital in Jakarta given up to take care of my mom) while I am still working. The best part was all big family members both from my mother side and my father side supported really strong. There will be more than ten people who slept at hospital, all of my nephew and niece come to cheer my mother up. All uncles and aunts will go and back to take care of my mom. Even all friend of mine and friend of all my brother and cousin also come to see her. In this point i know that, i should know all this beloved family better. In my opinion due to this case is Indonesia needs more cancer hospital that can provide better and faster medical treatment for the one who need. My mom should be has her surgery to take out his tumor in her belly in the beginning of December. Unfortunately, the surgeon room was full of waiting list. So my mom schedule for surgery was postponed until 19 Dec 2018. I bet at that time the cancer cells was spreading out to all my mom body while the fourth chemotherapy could not apply due to surgery preparation. We as the family who accompanied her cannot see anything change within her body. Especially me, who highly optimistic after the surgery mom will be better. My mother has passed away on Friday which is based on our believe as good sign. My mother survival journey had been completed. It is all about us now, about me who will continue her journey. My responsibility as a son is to make her the proud mom in heaven. I should find the best version of me to be close and understand more about islam. It is all about me who will fight the future without mom. I am okay for now. I think I will be okay also for next. But, the vacant part of my soul where was mom existed will be always like this. I will pray and being a good man as a ticket to meet her again in heaven. Dear God, I know there will be a time for me to back to you also. Until that day come, please let me be proper enough to see her in your heaven. The journey about me to make my mom proud in Jannah is started. I will never stop to find the best version of me and the best son version for my mom. God please tell my mom, I will take care the younger and my father. I will keep this missing felling. Let’s Start the journey, Bismillah.
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I am Indonesian. My name is Diogi. So interest with business and entrepreneurship. I am creating Social Business to find the best method to teach entrepreneurship and help people to meet their potential for facing future. Like traveling and writing. Archives
July 2021
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