Dear God,
Sorry for being arrogant. I am not as strong as I expected. I do really weak. I have nothing to hold on to. I am writing this, because I know YOU have talked to me, again this afternoon. Thank YOU for not leaving all alone. I am blessed. I Thought it was easy, but I have totally wrong. It is kind of hard work. It is not attack my body, but this situation defeated my mental. I have bearded down by the situation. As YOU know that I have decided to look after my mom to accompany her during his medical treatment process. I have though all programs that I would to implement once I arrived in Jakarta. I failed to control my emotion and I was stressed. Her condition is not as good as I though. She is often to speak randomly. Her hair fall is in everywhere. She could not take rest comfortably, many complain and more. Furthermore, her left legs are getting bigger due to chemotherapy effect, I don’t know how to explain in medical issue, but is because the blood stream is not normal anymore in her left legs. I asked the doctor about this matter but there is no specific medicines that can they give. “The chemotherapy will help”. I lost control. I cannot push my emotion to be in a normal mood. The program like morning walk, afternoon talk, sholat together and read Qur’an is not implemented. By these cases, I felt that I destroyed my own imagination. God, Sorry for being arrogant. but, it is kind of difficult stage for me. I thought to cheer up the ill men is as easy to cheer up people who would like to learn entrepreneurship. But, I am 100 per cent wrong. My trick, my plan is not working at all. I am confused really. I would to cry but I can’t. I would like to show the anger but I do know for whom it supposed to express to. Why should I feel this position? I have known as the strongest son to face this kind situation. But for me this another feeling and another problem that must be fix. It is like I know the problem but I have nothing to solve. I am zero. I don’t know how to start. God, thank YOU for making me cry a lot this evening. At least I just feel that I am being empty. The burden just came out within the tears. Suddenly, the tears giving me chance to hear YOUR voice cleared, “I am arrogant and I have to learn”. I do really amaze with my father endurance. It is more than a month she stay with my mom and able to serve the best of him for her. I know some time, he got mate with my mom when she speak meanly to my father about his unwell task. But, he never get take it serious and always sleep tightly at night while I don’t. God, I don’t like the way my mom received the service at Hospital. The nurse and doctors speak so rough to mostly the patient. I do understand that this hospital is under government control, the bureaucracy atmosphere is really tight. But, I just believe that the patient should deserve better. All of the nurse work like nothing that should they do but finish that all fast then go back home. I fell so disappointed. How could they motivated their patient if they face say “Your disease is not my business, I will not take it into account.” I know they are working, but they never show their kindness as people who live in services industry. God, if YOU can listen to my wish, I hope YOU lead me to the way where can I build and entrepreneurial hospital to motivate the patient sincerely and professionally. Or this stage is to show me to feel it first and find the reliable concept about this? I Hope so, I hope so. I miss my home already God. But, as our conversation this evening through Maghreb and Isya, I just feel that I should stay and throw the give up mental far away. I am sorry for being arrogant, too confidence making a program that I have never try before. I know I just need to adapt, I will learn the way my mom play her role in this matter than I can observe which approach that can be implemented to cheer her up and support the fire mental for her medical movement . God, thank YOU. For this romantic evening, where my mom is sleeping comfortably and my father is snoring. I plan to fight more tomorrow. Kota Bambu Selatan, 15 Oct 2018 In the city that difficult to love to, Jakarta.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Author
I am Indonesian. My name is Diogi. So interest with business and entrepreneurship. I am creating Social Business to find the best method to teach entrepreneurship and help people to meet their potential for facing future. Like traveling and writing. Archives
July 2021
Categories |