Dear God,
I cannot convey my feeling now anyway. On Feb, 17th 2020, i have started working for the hotel, again. For the same position in the same brand and property. Do i look fool? I think yes i am, some of friend told me “that’s okay, you have to face the reality”. But, in the deep of my heart, i still feel confuse. i feel like coward but In the other side i feel safe. To be honest, since January till February when Entjou could not give any sustainable business lead, i feel worry like crazy, but when HR of the hotel contacted me to propose the position, suddenly the anxiety disappeared. In that such circumstances, the employee mentality is still strong. In that sort of condition, my brain will stuck and could think any great idea. In short, I like an error machine when my financial got trouble. So what should i state for? God, due to this condition, i feel like ruined building. I don’t know how to start and where to put my next pace. I am realizing the vision of my entrepreneurial soul, i have list to do to, but i feel so exhausted inside. At working environment in Hotel is the same, i try to re-call one by one feeling to do all of the SOP and put my spirit back. Even there is one day, i realized that i cannot play in this working world. I need to decided, take it totally or leave it with whole package. I think i choose the first option. The other problem is my religion intention. I know by now that i have a lot of restriction. My don’t do list is abundance and maybe will increase over the time. Hotel is the particular place to give the service and the image tend to be negative. How could i survive with this surrounding. Can i be me more sunnah aware than before. God help me to solve this case. I just need the answer. Frankly, to write this article is quite confusing, need time to collecting the braveness, because i still cannot see me as a fool one. But i am. Dear My Allah, I am sorry to be wrong, i am sorry that i cannot face the financial test properly. You know me better how do i feel when i got financial trouble. I cannot think properly. I am broken. I just pray for you that hopefully, all of my salary now is halal. I will trying hard to fight all of the restriction with sunnah and your syariat. I will more often to go to kajian, listening to kajian podcast, and do all of the the sunnah that i can implement. As much as i can. I think i need a sunnah guidance list book like i did before when the first time i learn sunnah in 2019. I will, let’s start from today. And for Entjou, i need time to recover. Luckily, i have dina and nova by now in Entjou team. I know that they disappointed with my decision to going back working at hotel. But, i have no word to argue. I think i just need to do so, i hope this is not the biggest mistake that i have choose. I will have another plan for Entjou and my working place that i will write in the separated article. Because, i have an pretty interesting idea to combine my demanding working task, Entjou dream and the purpose of this blog as well. I think is quite interesting to specifically inform any management concept (marketing issues) that can be tips or even story in this blog related to hotel and Entjou movement. I am trying to accept all of the current circumstance that i have to face (that i have decided), and wishing YOU could give me another acceptance.
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I am Indonesian. My name is Diogi. So interest with business and entrepreneurship. I am creating Social Business to find the best method to teach entrepreneurship and help people to meet their potential for facing future. Like traveling and writing. Archives
July 2021
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